You don't fuck with Hallowe’en

Tonight on my way home from work I was confronted by parades of zombies, monsters, hospital patients, deranged psychopaths, ghouls, ghosts and goblins. One fucking eejit was dressed as a fat ballerina. Unless it was a fat ballerina. Apologies if that was you – you looked lovely.
They were all out roaming the streets around Eberswalder Straße, presumably on their way to a party.
Well, idiots, I have news for you – Hallowe’en was yesterday. It’s over, gone. You should have dressed up and gone out yesterday. Tough shit if it doesn’t suit your social plans, if you have to work the next day or it’s more convenient to celebrate on a Saturday or Friday night.
Hallowe’en is October 31. That’s it. You don’t move it. Hallowe’en is All Hallows’ Eve, the evening before All Hallows’ Day, which is November 1. So you’re celebrating All Hallows’ Eve on All Hallows’ Day. Would you celebrate Christmas Eve on Christmas Day? Do you move Christmas to the weekend so you can have a lie-in? No, you fucking don’t! You celebrate Christmas at Christmas, just as you celebrate Hallowe’en at Hallowe’en! Damn.
I hope the ancients are paying attention. It’s Samhain, the first day of the Celtic winter, the Celtic New Year. Hallowe’en is Oíche Shamhna in Irish, in other words the eve of Samhain, when the spirits of the dead come into this world. You sure as hell don’t fuck with it. The dead don’t put it off until the weekend.
I’m starting to think the Germans should just forget about Hallowe’en altogether. They clearly don’t get it. Joking aside, yesterday someone threw a bottle at my head as I cycled by and there were multiple reports of people throwing eggs at others. Better than bottles I suppose, but still, nothing to do with Hallowe’en. I can kinda understand some of the Germans’ concerns.
I went through Mauerpark with faint hope of seeing a bonfire but there was nothing, not a sinner, while the only “bonfire” I saw was at a kids’ party around the corner. At least the kids dressed up, made an effort even if most of their costumes were shite, and at least they managed to celebrate Hallowe’en on the night itself!


  1. Replies
    1. Yes, well, someone has to stand up for Hallowe’en. There comes a point when you just have to step in and say, enough!


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