Snotshot of madity 6: First day at kita

By people, I mean little people, and they are indeed littler than him. He’s the giant of the group. I guess all those months eating like an elephant are having an effect. No, he doesn’t have a trunk. I mean he uses his ivory tusks to scoop food from the floor before tilting his head back so it can roll into his mouth. None of this knife and fork business. We’re not savages.
But back to the kita. For those who don’t know what a kita is, it’s called kindergarten outside of Germany and playschool or crèche in Ireland. I’m not sure if playschool and crèche are the same thing or if there are different levels of babysitting involved.

I know some of you imagine a German crèche to consist of a load of cages where locked-up kids bang their metal cups on the bars for more water, but this one isn’t like that. It’s new, full of friendly, expensive looking stuff with no sharp corners, loads of toys all safety-certified to the point of ridiculous, or even further, to the point demanded by bureaucracy and the wheelbarrowloads of forms needed by ignorant stampers to stamp so the damn thing can open at all. Not a loose tile anywhere did I see.
“Just don’t torture him or let him come to any harm,” I told Franzi, one of the kita founders, when she was asking me what I “wanted” from it. She seemed surprised, as if none of the other parents had made that request, but she agreed to grant it which was good enough for me.

Anyway, we were only there for an hour today. I have to go with him for the first few weeks and stay there with him so he gradually gets used to it and can come to me when the others get too much for him.

Nip made himself at home straight away, started opening presses, rooting shit out - no, not their shit - and then dragging around a trolley holding all the shit he’d just stolen. He even tried stuffing a few balls into his top, presumably to steal them and bring them home. I was so proud. Then he tried stealing a bike on the way out…

The previous Snotshot of madity to mark the young man’s 1½ years on the planet can be seen here, complete with photos only updated recently which you mightn’t have seen before. This is directed at those related to the fella (through no fault of his own) in particular.
Comments
Post a Comment