Blackberry bandits

Blackberries are outrageously overpriced in Germany. €2.49 I paid for a miserly 125g punnet earlier today. Two fuckin' fifty! For about five blackberries. They were gone before I realised I’d opened the punnet.
We used to eat them off the side of the road for nothin' in Wexford. Spend hours browsing brambles and gorging on the delicious fruit their thorns couldn't protect. Used to eat them bugs, animal piss and all. A perfunctory glance before each berry was thrown into the mouth, but you'd have it chewed before you processed what you'd looked at. Delicious all the same. And insects are probably nutritious.
Our only enemies at the time were the crows and magpies, who'd have them all gobbled up and gone if you let them. But at least they were honest enemies. You knew what you were dealing with.
The blackberry bandits here drive BMWs and Mercs financed from the extortion of blackberry-lovers like me. In their greed-fuelled ignorance, they tear up and down the country’s Autobahns spewing fumes on the very fruit from which they build their immoral empires.
Blackberries are the finest fruit known to humanity. I guess from now on I’ll be getting them on the blackberry market again.


  1. Mmmmmmm blackberries. Got the scratches this year to show for three pies already.

  2. Scratches are but a small price to pay for blackberry pies. YUM!! And now you have me dreaming of blackberry jam!
    Time to grab the bucket...

  3. Don't buy blackberries, silly. Go to Norwegerstraße next year in July or August, just by your house there, but on the other side of the fence, along the S-Bahn tracks. Loads and loads of brambles. We picked buckets full last year. Also, gives you a map with freely available fruit from trees and such in public areas, so you're not stealing, just picking. I had a favorite plum tree round the corner from you on Wisbyer Straße.
    Best to the family from Maria (Dresden)

  4. Cheers Maria! I've put a reminder in my calendar to go blackberry picking there on July 10th next year. (I had to pick a date and that seemed as good as any.)
    Hopefully I won't find a load of newly-build apartments in their place...
    All the best to Dresden!


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