Gobshites, fuckers and a cock

It was a rude awakening on the first morning back with some fucker mowing the grass at an ungodly hour yesterday. This morning some gobshite or several gobshites (or even the same fucker) were drilling the floor of the apartment above us. For fucking ages. Then, as if in solidarity, the fuckbag builders who are still building across the road started drilling and jackhammering with all the sadistic gusto they could muster. They’re still blocking the whole street and look like they’re there for the long haul. We’ve to keep the balcony doors shut to avoid going crazy altogether. The summer is ruined.

I’ve been eaten alive by mosquitoes since I got back, bitten all over. I wasn’t bitten once in Spain. It’s as if the mosquitoes here have been keeping track of all the bites they would have given me and now it’s payback time – with interest. Well, they are German mosquitoes.
As soon as we returned I noticed how German some Germans look. It’s uncanny. I hadn’t noticed it all before but for some reason it’s unmistakeable now. Or maybe it’s just the Pankowites that have a look about them that’s so remarkable.
And I’m running out of tea. I ran out of Tabasco today but moved swiftly to replace it at tremendous cost. €2.89 for a 57ml bottle of Tabasco! Kaisers informed me that’s €5.07 for litre. I’m sure liquid gold is cheaper.
To make matters worse, my shoes are on their last legs too. Usually they’re on my legs, which aren’t my last. At least I hadn’t planned on getting new ones. My legs are my first and only and I hope they stay my last.
Back to my shoes. They really are on their last legs. No other legs will take them. Banjaxed is the only word for them. The trip to Spain was a step, if not several steps too far for them. That was after two years of climbing over walls, under fences, down holes and up to no good.

Maybe he too – a cock for fuck’s sake! – is put off by the locals’ insistence on getting up at such ungodly hours.
If the builders and all the other fuckers allow it, I’ll start posting a few pictures and some more words from the travels. I’ll probably do the words first before they leave my head forever. I’ll let ye know when everything is up to date. Just don’t expect it anytime soon. These are times (and the land) of austerity after all.
Hate to break this to you, but unless you're very unlucky, your current legs ARE your last legs.
ReplyDeleteWhen speaking English, I noticed that Germans seem to use the words "sarcasm" and "sense of humour" interchangably.
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ReplyDelete