Existence approved

He exists! I'd had a nagging suspicion he was only a far-fetched figment of my imagination – despite the sleepless nights, arse-wiping and futile rocking – but the nipper’s existence has been confirmed by the Standesamt in Spandau!
Well, not quite confirmed yet – they still have to post us the FIVE birth certs (you can never be too sure) but I’ve been assured the formalities have been disposed of like a soiled nappy and the rest is just a suspense-building exercise.

It was actually relatively painless this morning when I wheeled my wheelbarrow of forms into the Bürgeramt. They wanted my passport to prove my existence; my birth cert to prove I was born; the translation of my birth cert so they could understand the dates and numerals (September is September in German y’know); the official stamp to prove it had been translated by an official stamper and not an illiterate monkey who mightn’t be able to correctly understand September; Jenny’s birth cert to prove she was born (they didn’t want proof of her existence); the Anerkennung der Vaterschaft (the stamped form which alone proves I’m the father); and the gemeinsamen Sorgeerklärung (which proves we are jointly responsible for the kid as parents, rather than, say, Banana Gatherers Anonymous or the Philanthropic One-Legged Fish Admiration Society, primarily engaged in the procurement of waterproof crutches). I also brought my Anmeldebestätigung to confirm where I normally do my existing, and my Freizügigkeitserklärung to prove I’m allowed work in the EU (not otherwise discernable from my EU passport).

I would have thought the most conclusive proof of the child’s existence would have been the child, but he wasn’t required, presumably due to the impracticalities of stamping new born children.
I signed a form, paid my blood money, and was assured his necessary paperwork would be sent out to us in the next few days. Wouldn’t it be mad if they came back and said he didn't exist at all?


  1. why not shots of you and sprog?

  2. Sprog won't let me. It's great, I can blame him for everything from now on!
    Maybe maybe, if you behave, I might post a pic of me with the nipper one of these days. But only if you behave, and after I get a Haarschnitt. It's a mess again.


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