Stinky Winky the Christmas tree

We didn’t think to smell the trees when we were inspecting them to pick the best one, and smells are not as pronounced in the sub zero outside world, so we didn’t notice that some tom cat had urinated all over our one. I guess the piss must have frozen on impact, and the true scent could only be released in the room temperature thaw.
The smell is unbelievable. I’ve been burning incense like an incensed pyromaniac to try and mask it, but its pungent whiff is kicking up quite a stink.

A generous donation from my parents for a tree meant we had to get one, so we were delighted to find a shop on Schönhauser Allee with potted trees for a reasonablish price. (Anything more than free is too much really.)

So now it’s sitting in our living room, covered in Weihnachtsschmuck and looking damn fine. I got the last of the decorations today. There are even a couple of presents under it too!
A pity Winky is stinky, but we love him all the same. Sure if it ain’t one thing it’s another.
Congratulations on getting a tree. I only bothered to get a poinsettia, which is now in the middle of my dining table, surrounded by all my Kinder Uberraschung Adventskalendar gifts.
ReplyDeleteI plan on murdering it sometime in January, shortly before my trip to the States.
What will you do with Winky once January rolls around?
Thank you for not calling him Stinky Winky. He's embarrassed enough as it is.
ReplyDeleteIf he survives Christmas, he'll be transferred out onto the balcony in January. If spring rolls around and the ground thaws out we'll find a nice spot in the forest where he'll have loads of friends and replant him there. He'll have plenty to talk about by then no doubt.
Hopefully your poinsettia smells a bit better.
you're hilarious! ;)
ReplyDelete