Yesterday I waited from 8am to 4pm for the phone guy to show up to install our internet. For eight hours I was afraid to go to the toilet in case he called and I missed him. He never showed up! Ohne Scheiß - literally.
For eight hours I fluted about and pissed around waiting for the fucker, until there was no other option but to ring the phone company, Alice, to ask what happened. It took 11 minutes at 42 cent a minute - they wouldn't call us back - to find out he didn't show up for a reason marked as "Sonstiges", which means anything at all. They were happy to book another appointment, the earliest being September 6th. I couldn't believe it. I'm guessing that would be sometime between 8am and 4pm too.
I was absolutely furious. Not only had I wasted a whole day of my life, but they now wanted me to waste another one, go another two weeks without the service for which we were paying in the meantime, and pay 42 cent a minute while holding for eternity to find out why, which they then wouldn't tell us anyway.
So today I took matters into my own hands. Alice will be getting a letter informing them of the wish to break the contract based on the fact they're not fulfilling their part of it (i.e. providing the service), and I availed of a month long trial of a USB surf stick which I will be returning within the month during which another provider will have provided us with Internet und Fastnetz.
That's the plan anyway. At least we have internet for now. Hauptziel erreicht.


  1. I have no idea how phone companies can get away with this crap.
    Sorry you're having to deal with it. As far as I can tell every last one of them are the same. Just pick the cheapest one and hope for the best.

  2. Since we sent back the termination of the contract, I've been getting phone calls from an automated phone service in Hamburg. First there's nobody on the line, then a voice starts talking and then the line goes dead. Turns out it's Alice! They've been ringing every couple of hours for the last few days. I found other online forums where people who end their contracts with the company are hounded with phone calls from an automated service in the same way. Revenge perhaps? Or maybe a ploy to get former customers to ring their 42 cent a minute hotline again? I dunno how they get away with it either. Unbelievable.
    We went with Vodafone in the end. Among the cheapest, the fastest for internet, and - most importantly - a free customer service number for when things go wrong. Mensch!

  3. Yeah, internet service in Berlin is miles behind their nearest former-commie neighbor: Czech Republic. My favorite Alice story: Deutsche Telecom guy has to come to the flat to turn on the adsl line (8 hour wait). Then Alice just mails the damn modem. As in the Post. Like a 'fuck you, install the thing yer damn self.' Good thing I can set up a wlan network (after much Googling and with German modem site translation help of course). Crap, this is comment is turning into a blog. Sorry, dude.


  4. Yep, the service here stinks. Would you believe we now have to wait until October 14th for the DSL to be installed. Deutsche Telecom can't make it any sooner because it's a brand new line and I'm guessing that would involve 14,000 forms to be filled out at the Bürgeramt. Almost seven weeks to wait since we ordered it!
    Thankfully Vodafone seem to care a bit more about their customers than Alice do - they've given us a USB stick which we can use for unlimited internet until Deutsche Telecom finally fill out all their forms. They should definitely Czech out how their neighbours do it.


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