Bahn banditos strike again

Fuckers stole my phone last night. Same story as the last time - feel asleep on the S-Bahn home. I blame Deutsche Bahn for making the carriages so comfortable. I was wrecked after a long week's work, and woke up totally disorientated at Botanischer Garten, about 700 stops after mine, to find my phone had disembarked before me.
Again, they took it from my back pocket, so I was actually sitting on it at the time, listening to the phone's mp3 player. That didn't put them off; they simply unplugged the cable and took it from under my arse as I snoozed above it, dreaming dreams of dreams I hope will come true. Again, I must have been snoring.
A couple of gobshites were laughing at me as I searched fruitlessly under the seat and in the aisle in case I dropped it. Probably the fuckers who stole it. As I was searching I realised my wallet absconded with the phone- I guess the two of them had been making eyes at each other behind my backside all along - and so about €30, my bank cards, train tickets and press pass are gone too. So, no money and no phone. Scheiße.
It was a long frustrating wait on a lonely S-Bahn platform for the train to bring me back the way I'd come, the realisation of what happened manifesting itself like avoidable unavoided when it's too late. I didn't fall asleep when it eventually did show up, but looked out the window at darkness as I pondered a parting sudden and unforeseen. I hadn't even time to say goodbye.
Email is the best way to contact me for now.