Taming nature's forces

I sneezed this morning while brushing my teeth. I tend to walk around the house while brushing my teeth. It staves off boredom in the bathroom. So, not wanting to spray a shower of toothpaste all over my lovely clean room, I clamped my mouth shut. No matter. One way or another that toothpaste was coming out. My nose, unfortunately, bore the brunt. An explosion of minty white snot. Sometimes nature's forces are just irrepressible.

My hair is also irrepressible it seems, but I'm doing my best to repress it. Yesterday I got a haircut! I finally made it to Friseur Kaiserschnitt which Jana had recommended for "sehr gute, coole Haarschnitte". A trendy non-threatening punk with long black and pink stripey socks greeted me at the door, and ushered me in to meet Jessie, my Haarschneiderin for the occasion.
She was just as friendly, despite all the metal in her face, and was very curious to find out where I came from and what I was doing in Berlin. "Did love bring you to Berlin?" she asked. Straight to the point these Germans are.
"Wow. Dein Haar ist so dick!" she exclaimed as she ran the chainsaw just above my ears.
"Ja ja!" I roared above the din. "Ich bin wie ein Schaf. Deshalb bin ich hier!"
I told her to make sure I didn't look ridiculous anymore, and most importantly, to make sure I don't look like something from the '80s. The day before, in the latest of an ever-lengthening list of insults, I'd been told I looked like MacGyver. I wouldn't mind if I could make a helicopter out of paper clips, an apple core and an elastic band. Jaysus, I used to love that show. But that doesn't mean I want to look like him. Not anymore in any case.


  1. Again, which is the 'before' and which is the 'after' picture?

  2. Ha ha. Trés lustig! Although you might be onto something. I need another haircut now already.


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